Last weekend, we road our motorcycles to Indiana, to an event called ‘Twisted Tryst’. What an amazing event! It’s not the first time we’ve attended this event and for those into woo and being outdoors and are ok with seeing some edgy stuff, this is the event for you!
The odd part though, was that it’s a place for transformation, a place for soul searching, a place for digging deep within ourselves. …..but, i didn’t have any of that this year. The last couple of times i’ve been have been amazing. This time around i was hoping to tap into my pagan side and/or my qadishtu side. It didn’t happen. Though, i did see it happening with a lot of people there. This even was full of courageous people tapping into their shadows and using bdsm (and i saw 2 people with body paints….it doesn’t have to be pain) to create sacred places for healing.
This is my thing. So, why didn’t i have anything to work on? We taught 4 classes and that was fun…..Living M/s….8 Poly Tools….Sacred Sex ….and Sex Magick. That should have stirred up something to work on, but it didn’t.
I even had the message from the angel card i drew last week…..’Use your God-given power and intention to manifest blessings in your life.’ i’ve been stuck on trying to figure out what my ‘God-given power and intention’ is. Yet, i didn’t feel drawn to work on that at camp. i actually felt peaceful at camp.
i had 2 scenes at the end of Saturday night. I cried some during the second one. But, i’m not sure what he tapped into. Usually, i have pictures in my head when the pain breaks me open, but not this time.
We spent the weekend teaching and resting. Maybe that was the lesson for the weekend? Resting? …plus there was joy in our bike ride. So, maybe the weekend was about resting and joy? i’m not sure.
i really thought that after teaching ‘Sex Magic’ it would hype me up and i’d want to do ritual or such. It didn’t happen. I even walked down to the lake because water usually pumps me up for magick. Not this time.
Am I missing something?
What’s the saying ‘the squeaky wheel gets the oil’….which means the person that talks the most/loudest or complains the most, gets the attention
But, do you really want to be a squeaky wheel? Constantly asking for things?
To me if i’m having to squeak, then something is wrong. Squeaky wheels are annoying. So we oil them. But that doesn’t always fix things. It squeaks again, we oil it again. It squeaks again, we start to get resentful because obviously the oiling isn’t working. The part is wearing out or it doesn’t fit right. So, it’s time to replace it with a better part that doesn’t need as much maintenance.
Or…better yet…get a wheel that is self-lubricating. Or be proactive and do maintenance before the squeaking starts.
The pro-active maintenance doesn’t just fall on one person. I know for me, I’m trying to become a self-lubricating wheel. The more I can take care of myself, the less squeaking is involved. I won’t have to depend on others to oil me.
The problem happens when everyone thinks everything is ok….self-lubing is happening …and then the squeak pops up out of no where, surprising both the wheel and the other person.
What other pro-maintenance needs to be done? What are they overlooking?
Because in my world, being a squeaky wheel isn’t an option in my relationships. .
Angel Card drawn today…..
Take Back Your Power!
Archangel Raziel: “Use your God-given power and intention to manifest blessings in your life.”
Message: “You are a luminary: a sage, a wise one, a high-priestess/high priest, a wizard, and a supreme manifestor. Now is the time to summon up your spiritual strength and power and put your authority into action. Lovingly and firmly transform your intentions into reality. Say prayers about your intentions, and ask for guidance and signs to shape your manifestations to the highest possible level.”
Wow….i’ve never drawn this card and the feeling that it’s leaving me with is ….powerful.
“My God-given power and intention”……I wonder what that could be? Yes, I’m a high priestess but I don’t think I’ve ever figured out what my “God-given power” is. If I could figure that out, maybe I would know what my next step is.
For now, my next step is to join the HardPink Sisterhood. But, I’m not sure if that is the next step on my spiritual path. Creating OWAL (older women in alternative lifestyles) is part of my spiritual path, but I’m not sure how. It just feels like it.
Someone asked me tonight if I was going to have a Samhain ritual this year. I hadn’t planned on it because people haven’t been attenting rituals I’ve scheduled for the last year.
Looks like I have a topic to meditate on. Again. It’s not the first time I’ve meditated on what the next step on my spiritual path is.