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I had to process this a little before I could write about it….

Yesterday, I was at work and getting ready to make a call. I call so many people that I always write the person’s name down before making the call, so that I don’t accidentally address them by the wrong name. Well, as I was writing down the name ‘Adkins’, I had a flash of the dream I had had the night before and had forgotten about.

A guy I went to school with, Billy Adkins, was standing at a sink washing dishes or getting something out of a cupboard….and the view I was seeing him from meant that i was sitting on a couch or something low. I only got to see him from a side view, but the feeling of being in love with him swept over me. I remembered him kissing me in high school and this feeling of love washed over me. It struck me that I used to like him, so why not start dating him?

I didn’t remember this dream until I wrote this name down at work.

And that same feeling of loving him washed over me.

And sadness. And longing.

Billy died of pneumonia at last 10 years ago. His obituary is put out each year on my ancestor altar.

But that feeling…..intense…..