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I’ve been struggling over what my next step is on my spiritual path….or better yet, my soul path.

Recently, I was posting to my ‘101 in 1001’ facebook group and it slammed home for me. ‘101 in 1001’ means 101 goals in 1001 days. These are things that I need to do, want to do, or desire to do. Some are fun, and some are not. Though, the really fun ones are on my naughty 101 in 1001 list. Anyway, I was posting some of my stuff to this group, when someone else on the group posted that keeping their website updated was on their list.

I asked her what her website was about. She said it was on her practice as a Death Doula. Well, that struck my interest. I’ve heard of a birth Doula before, but not a Death Doula. Plus, I had thought of working with hospices before and had even given out my card so that they could call me if a Pagan Priestess is needed. No luck. This girl on my facebook group told me a little bit about it. I responded saying that I had just finished my Tantra classes and wouldn’t it be weird to be a Tantric instructor and a Death Doula. She said not really because she is a Death Doula and a Qadishti Priestess.

Whoa! Hold the phone!

Not many people use that descriptor…..Qadishti Priestess.

So, I went and looked at her friends. You see, you can only get on my 101 in 1001 facebook group if you are invited by someone that is already on the group. So, I needed to know who this person was. Well, she must have been doing the same thing at the same time.

I recognized all our mutual friends as people that had taken the ‘Path of the Qadishti’ course that my husband and I created years ago. She went to my profile and checked out the same, and my pics. She about flipped out.

It looks like we met last spring at lunch where Dan and I signed her certificate for completing the course.

I told Dan about this and about how her using ‘Qadishti Priestess’ really felt powerful. I’ve been calling myself a ‘Wiccan trained, shamanic, buddhist flavored, Qadishti Priestess’ or usually, ‘Pagan Priestess’. It doesn’t have the same punch as ‘Qadishti Priestess’.

Dan, my husband, has been listening to me during my struggle to find my next step and after meditation over the weekend while we were in Kansas City, he spoke up and said that he was hearing me say that my next step should be ‘Qadishti Priestess’.

There is also a place on our presenter bio where he has added that he is a Novice Monk in a Buddhist Zen Tradition. He wants me to come up with a one line descriptor as well, if I want one. He likes the sound of Qadishti Priestess if it speaks to me. This is where I have to be careful because it’s easy for me to follow along with his suggestions. My goal is to please him and sometimes I forget to look at what it is that I really want.

So, over the weekend I tried it on for size. It feels good. It feels powerful. It is who I am.

But, Monday morning we found a place to meditate at before getting on the plane to come back home, Unity Temple on the Plaza in Kansas City. We meditated with a small group of people for a half hour. During this meditation my head got away from me for a little bit and I pictured myself on our bio page in my Priestess robes. But, even though that felt right, I also saw myself wearing my Leathers.

I am a Leather Woman. I am a Qadishti Priestess.

How do I resolve this? Which one will I put on our bio page? Which one will I focus on as the next step on my soul path? Can I combine the 2?

Damn…I thought I had an answer….now I’m not so sure.