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Tomboy?

I heard someone use the word ‘tomboy’ lately and it reminded me that that’s how i used to classify myself. I was raised with my younger brother, and 3 boy cousins. Though i have 3 half sisters, we weren’t raised together. And though I have about 30 girl cousins, we rarely spent time together. Not only that, but because I didn’t have a save home environment, I never made girl friends. My mom wouldn’t let me go to anyone’s home and I wouldn’t invite anyone back to mine, so it was hard to make girl friends, or any friends at all for that matter. There was one neighborhood girl I spent some time with, but she was much younger than me.

My time growing up was spent climbing trees, roaming the woods, swimming in the river, learning how to shoot rifles, playing football with the guys. There was an unspoken rule that I was one of the guys. And if one of my cousins friends laid a hand on me in the wrong way, they wouldn’t be invited over again.

I actually found it frustrating when my brother and cousins got ‘Evil Kneival’ wind up toys and I got Daring Debbie. Pink. Then, they were bought cap rifles. I got one, but it was pink. Again. Yuck. To this day I really don’t like the color pink.

I used to love wearing denim….once I was allowed to wear denim that is…late high school. Before that I was made to wear skirts and dress pants (with tennis shoes of all things).

Then, for some reason I thought I was too tomboy-ish and started trying to be feminine. Not that I’m not, but I started trying to figure out makeup and how to do my hair and skirts and dresses. I never really got good at it. I still don’t know how to do makeup and don’t really care about my hairstyle too much….though I have tried to make a point to pay more attention to it over the last couple of years after losing 100 pounds. I still don’t like pink.

One of the reasons I went with skirt and dresses though was because I was 100 pounds heavier. Very round. Pants were hard to find and I had to give up jeans all together. Hell, the first time I found out about jeggings I was in heaven. The problem was that I had told Dan i liked skirts because i didn’t have to wear panties and it made me …..”accessible”.  *grin* So, it became an order that I only wear skirts and dresses. I wasn’t allowed to wear pants without permission. Since I like to please him….a lot….I rarely asked to wear pants.

Well, let’s look at now…..now I have a motorcycle. I’ve had the belly surgery so that I can wear jeans again. And I do think I’m hot in jeans if I do say so myself. Jeans, boots, t-shirt, denim or leather vest, wide belt. I’m really liking the look.

Deep down, I have a feeling…I’m still a tomboy. 🙂 

 

 

Weight Loss & Running

My weight is stalled once again.

How frustrating. It tends to stall at this exact weight each time. So, I take a day off my way of eating and try to shock my body into losing weight. It used to work. It doesn’t now. Instead, I gain back a couple of pounds and then have to work to get back down to the plateau weight and get stuck here again.

I’m even training to run/walk a 5k next week, and nothing. It’s stuck. It’s like my body is holding onto this number and won’t let go. Stop it! It’s ok. We aren’t going to starve if I lose 3 more pounds. I promise.

I’ve got such cute clothes that I bought right before the belt lipectomy surgery (lower body lift) and now that I’ve I’ve gained 20 pounds since the surgery, they don’t fit!

And the 20 pounds I gained back…isn’t in the belly where they chopped off the extra skin. No. It’s in the thighs and the upper arms and that spare tire that is right above the sculpted area. I’m not liking it at all. It means that I can’t get pants up over my thighs. And the ones I can get up over my thighs are too big for my waist and ass and want to fall down. My shirts won’t fit over my upper arms and the ones that do, fall off my shoulders. It’s a very sloppy look that I’m not liking at all. 20 to 30 pounds off would solve the clothing issue.

It will also help with my running time. Think about yourself running …..now add a 30 pound backpack to your back and try again. Or better yet, add 7 pounds to each leg and each arm. It’s hard. ….Well, running is hard to begin with. But, that 30 pounds needs to go. Plus, it will keep me from wearing out my joints too fast. I’ve only got so much time to accomplish the things I want to accomplish before they give out anyway.

Why run? I should write that at another time…..but quick and sweet…..because I was never a runner and it’s something I want to be, even for a little while before my time is up. I like goals. I like trying new things. I like accomplishing things. This is just another of those accomplishments.

I’m going to try and to a fat fast I think to get my weight moving. We’ll see.

If it would stop raining, I’d get more miles in. That would work too.