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Aging as a Qadishtu

I am Qadishtu….a practitioner of sacred sexuality. I believe in the healing power of sex and that we wouldn’t have been given these enjoyable parts of our anatomy if we weren’t supposed to have fun with them.

With that said, I’m getting older. And even though my sex drive is soaring through the roof, my body doesn’t look like that of a young woman anymore. I have a bad back and a knee that will act up for no reason out of the blue. Since my surgery to remove the extra skin around my middle, I can’t find sexy clothes to wear. My corsets don’t fit anymore and I have a scar all the way around me.

Because of this, I don’t feel so sexy anymore. So, how do I put myself out there when I’m not feeling sexy (most days anyway)?

I want to have healing sex. I want to have passionate sex. I want to have sex that connects me with the Divine. I want to have sex that expands my self and my world. I want sex that blows my mind. Dammit. I want sex!

I actually feel like I felt sexier when I was heavier but younger. I know that’s not true. I had issues back then as well.

Hell, except for a couple of years as a teen, I didn’t even enjoy sex until I was 32. Now, I need to make up for lost time!

In all honesty, sex is fun but it is also very healing for me. It is part of my personal healing path. This aging thing sucks.

I will figure out how to turn this feeling around and become an empowered older Qadishtu/woman. I just need to figure out how. If I figure it out, I’ll share.

Sacred Sexuality (part 2)

So, after writing yesterday’s blog and sleeping on it and then while finishing listening to a book this morning ‘American Gods’ and starting to listen to a Wiccan book….I figured out why it is that I’m wanting to move forward on my path of sacred sexuality – it’s because it’s through sacred sexuality is how I connect with the Divine.
The Divine is within as well as without. It’s easier to connect with the Divine that is outside of us. We can see it in the cycle of birth and death. We can see it in miracles. We can see it in things of beauty that we can’t explain, in the birth of a child, in the gaze of creatures, in the growth of plants. But, we also have Divine within us and the easiest way for me to tap into that is through sexual energy.
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful energies to work with. I want to further my spirtual path and growth through using sexual energy. The depth of connection that is involved; the vulnerability; the compassion; the empowerment….all of that is part of my spiritual path. I need to embrace it, even if that means I travel the path alone.