Angel Card drawn today…..
Take Back Your Power!
Archangel Raziel: “Use your God-given power and intention to manifest blessings in your life.”
Message: “You are a luminary: a sage, a wise one, a high-priestess/high priest, a wizard, and a supreme manifestor. Now is the time to summon up your spiritual strength and power and put your authority into action. Lovingly and firmly transform your intentions into reality. Say prayers about your intentions, and ask for guidance and signs to shape your manifestations to the highest possible level.”
Wow….i’ve never drawn this card and the feeling that it’s leaving me with is ….powerful.
“My God-given power and intention”……I wonder what that could be? Yes, I’m a high priestess but I don’t think I’ve ever figured out what my “God-given power” is. If I could figure that out, maybe I would know what my next step is.
For now, my next step is to join the HardPink Sisterhood. But, I’m not sure if that is the next step on my spiritual path. Creating OWAL (older women in alternative lifestyles) is part of my spiritual path, but I’m not sure how. It just feels like it.
Someone asked me tonight if I was going to have a Samhain ritual this year. I hadn’t planned on it because people haven’t been attenting rituals I’ve scheduled for the last year.
Looks like I have a topic to meditate on. Again. It’s not the first time I’ve meditated on what the next step on my spiritual path is.
I am Qadishtu….a practitioner of sacred sexuality. I believe in the healing power of sex and that we wouldn’t have been given these enjoyable parts of our anatomy if we weren’t supposed to have fun with them.
With that said, I’m getting older. And even though my sex drive is soaring through the roof, my body doesn’t look like that of a young woman anymore. I have a bad back and a knee that will act up for no reason out of the blue. Since my surgery to remove the extra skin around my middle, I can’t find sexy clothes to wear. My corsets don’t fit anymore and I have a scar all the way around me.
Because of this, I don’t feel so sexy anymore. So, how do I put myself out there when I’m not feeling sexy (most days anyway)?
I want to have healing sex. I want to have passionate sex. I want to have sex that connects me with the Divine. I want to have sex that expands my self and my world. I want sex that blows my mind. Dammit. I want sex!
I actually feel like I felt sexier when I was heavier but younger. I know that’s not true. I had issues back then as well.
Hell, except for a couple of years as a teen, I didn’t even enjoy sex until I was 32. Now, I need to make up for lost time!
In all honesty, sex is fun but it is also very healing for me. It is part of my personal healing path. This aging thing sucks.
I will figure out how to turn this feeling around and become an empowered older Qadishtu/woman. I just need to figure out how. If I figure it out, I’ll share.