Journal 2019 4-19
While in Tulsa, we stopped by a place called ‘Woods of Peace’. It was a beautiful place, with litle cabins, hiking trails and a labyrinth. Beautiful. (Dan and i might be creating something like this at some point, but more on that later)
When, we were introducing ourselves to the person running the place, Dan waved at me to introduce myself and my path. I said ‘Pagan’, because i didn’t want to have to explain ‘Qadishti’. But, the word that popped into my head that i wish i had used was ‘Earth Spiritualist’. I hadn’t even heard of that word before.
Then, when i was walking the labyrinth, it mentioned to me that i’m still a Qadishti, but i’m to use the energy of the Earth to power my sexuality. That just felt so right. I need to work with the Earth. She will feed my sexuality. Though, i’m not really sure how to explain that part. Something like….working with her gives me strength to be who i am. And if i can remember that, living life will be so much easier.
Since i hadn’t heard of the word before, i decided to look it up before using it. It seems that there is an international organization that uses this word. But, their website is pretty empty with no traffic on it and not much information.
Probably the only thing in the info i’ve added below is the sustainable living. I just don’t see it as possible. I know people that do it and i try to recycle when i can…but for the grand sceme, i just don’t have the ability or desire.
And since no one is really using these websites…..and i agree with most of what it says, i think i can use the term when out in ‘vanilla’ public.
Otherwise it’s ‘Wiccan Trained Shamanistic Qadishti’ …..or something like that.
According to the website on Earth Spiritualism:
Earth Spiritualism is an inclusive nature-based interfaith Religion providing Ministry to its members and interested members of the community including regular meetings and study groups to engage in, promote and encourage all aspects of the Earth Spiritualist philosophy and Spiritual practice including kindness, respect and a harmonious co-existence between nature, the Earth, and all living beings.
Ancient Culture & Traditions
Our Religion is kindness. With our roots in ancient nature-based Spiritual philosophies and traditions from around the world. Earth Spiritualism merges the old with the new, to provide a non-dogmatic Spirituality for a modern world.
We unite in friendship with world Religions and nature traditions and cultures whose beliefs align with ours for the benefit of world peace.
Our Core Beliefs
Our core beliefs are the three founding principles at the heart of all that we do:
- Respect for Self
- Respect for nature, the earth and all living things
Our belief system is founded on the natural health and wellbeing of mind, body & Spirit and living in harmony with nature, the Earth and all living things.
The Six Principles of Daily Life
The study of The Six Principles of Daily Life provides a path to inner peace, happiness and wellbeing, re-connecting not only to nature but also to the inner Self, restoring any parts which may have been lost along the way.
The Six Principles are:
The six principles are studied individually. Each may be studied at any time, in no particular sequence, as and when you are drawn to.
We believe that a connection to nature and the land is fundamental to the health & wellbeing of mind, body & Spirit.
Our members practice and encourage sustainable living, the practice of living in harmony with nature, the Earth and all living things in all aspects of daily life including sustainability of the natural and built environments.
Our members practise and promote natural remedies and natural healing methods. However we don’t deny the miracles of modern medicine either. We advocate an integrative approach to health and wellbeing at all times.
The Universal Consciousness
We don’t specifically worship the God, Goddess or specific Deities from other Religions, but we don’t deny their existence either. Our attitude is one of respect. We believe that anything is possible unless proven otherwise.
We believe in a Higher Power, known also as The Universe or Divine Being, a Universal Life Force which connects nature, the Earth and all living things through a Universal Consciousness. Our Deity is nature and the Earth.
Respect to Others
We believe that Religious and Spiritual beliefs (or none) are a personal choice and we don’t require our followers change their existing beliefs or faith in order to study our teachings.
We respect the right of everyone to their own beliefs and we unite and welcome those from all beliefs and faiths or none, whose beliefs are based on kindness.
We believe in karma, the afterlife and the unseen world.
Our teachings, meetings and events provide an inspiring personal & Spiritual development path to inner peace, happiness and wellbeing.
Our members conduct regular meetings, study groups, workshops and events to promote and encourage all
We welcome and unite people from all faiths or none, with an interest in personal & Spiritual development to study our teachings.
Our inspiring personal and Spiritual development program provides a path to inner peace.
I’ve been in a funky mood since getting triggered at our event BTL last week. We had people show up from another event to tell us how we were doing our event was wrong, and they did it in front of about 100 people that were in our class, ‘Ask Us the Hard Shit’. Everything was going great, on only about 3 hours of sleep after dealing with 2 drunk attendees early that morning. Then, these people who don’t know us at all decided that moment to verbally attack us and how we do our event (sold out for year number 6). Totally triggered me. Felt like a hostage situation where we were being bullied and no one thought the could help us. It was awful. And i’m not the only one they triggered.
I’m finally out of the trigger but am still having a problem with realizing how mean people can be. That was just mean. What they did was mean and they are ok with it. They feel they are doing it to benefit groups of people.
Now i’m seeing all the meanness around me, especially on poly facebook groups. It’s awful.
So, why would i wan to be a priestess of any sort? There is so much meanness out there.
*sigh* That’s my answer, isn’t it? i’m not a mean person. So, i need to be out there doing my thing don’t i?
i’m trying to get back on track with my priestess self.
For meditation this morning, i drew a medicine card. i asked the cards what i needed to do with my Qadishtu path. ‘Medicine cards, medicine cards, tell me true. What do i need to hear from you regarding my Qadishtu path?’
Quit being conventional and following others all the time. Take your own authority. Let Antelope’s heart beat strong in you, and you will know the way. Bas as always, the message is “Do it!” The fear of the unknown subsides once action begins.
Contrary Antelope may also be telling you that a decision to start is now necessary. The main element in procrastination is lack of conviction. To honor your chosen destiny is to honor your commitment to doing what you “proclaim” you are doing. Walking your talk is the essence of Antelope people. Talking your walk is contrary Antelope personified.
To right contrary Antelope, three steps are necessary:
- Have the desire to do something
- Make the firm decision to begin that action
- Do it!
So….one of the things i had wanted to do for years, after it was suggested by a POTQ graduate…was to record a podcast called ‘Qadishti Quickies’….
i tried it. i didn’t like it. It was flat. i’m used to recording with my husband and have done so for almost 10 years with our podcast, ‘Erotic Awakening’. There just isn’t a flow to my recording.
But, if i’m going to embrace this path, maybe i should try it again. Maybe some music playing while i’m talking would help. it might be worth a try. But, i have so many other projects that i’m actually excited about, i’m not sure that i want to put the time into this.
i would take the ‘quickies’ to my new facebook group, but there are only 3 members on it. i want a larger audience.
i could do it on fetlife, but then it’s only fet audience. i want it to reach further.
i have to give this some though. How can i reach people? Why do i want to reach people? Probably because some people don’t know this is a valid spiritual path, or because some people are already following a similar path and don’t know it or don’t have words for it. It feels like that’s the answer. Not sure.
i had a Tantra meetup scheduled for tonight. 16 marked as going. Only 1 person showed up.
His name was Mike and he was probably in his 60’s. We had a long conversation and i found out that he’s been giving spankings to people for decades. People find him on a website, he didn’t say which one, and he delivers their spankings; some men, some women. He travels around the world and has people in most of the places he stops at, that he spanks.
Talking with him, hearing how he does service topping, hearing how he doesn’t do it for sex and sticks with what they negotiate ahead of time…..he’s a Qadishti and doesn’t know it. He treats this as sacred.
It surprises me when i find people like this, that have been doing this sacred service for years and aren’t aware that they are very special. They just do it as a way of giving service to those in need. He said that sometimes it’s a wife whose husband is away (i wouldn’t be able to do that if the husband doesn’t know, but i understand the need/drive), sometimes it’s someone with a lot of responsibility that needs ‘punishment’, sometimes it’s someone that has fetishized it and want’s to roleplay, sometimes it’s someone that just needs to cry. Wow. All of this is service/spiritual topping.
Well, if nothing else, i shared some vocabulary with him. i don’t think he’s interested in researching anything, but if he ever is, he’ll have some words to use.
More than a few years ago, i had this vision (i don’t even remember the details) that i should be working with a Goddess with Wings. i tried Isis and a few others and they just didn’t feel right. i also knew that it was supposed to be a Goddess for Sacred Sexuality. For weeks i looked at google images and finally found one that worked for me. It was Freya.
i tried Freya on. i liked it. i did an ecstatic dance and invoked Frey to ask her why she came to me if i was looking for a Goddess of Sacred Sexuality. She laughed and said, how do you think i got my amber necklace from the dwarves? i slept with them. i am absolutely a Goddess of Sex. Many people focus on the Goddess of War, Valkirie aspect, but there is so much more.
So, i worked with Freya for a very long time. i still work with her some days, but it’s very rare now.
Today, i was doing some research on Qadishtu/Qadishti/Sacred Secuality for a new facebook group i started….and came across this ….
And her animals are lions.
i’ve also worked with Sekhmet because of her lion aspects.
So…what if i was supposed to have worked with Ishtar? i know a few that do work with her and her other name, Inanna. Some have even named themselves after her.
Before, i tried to make myself work with her (before i even knew she had wings). It didn’t work. I’m not sure i even recognized she had wings. Freya did and Freya spoke to me.
Now, i’m seeing the wings of Ishtar/Inanna and it feels like i’m supposed to work with her.
We’ll see how it goes.
This poem to her that I found (in another language and then translated) really spoke to me when i found it today…
Prayer by Ishara Labyris, Ps. Dea
Who pierces the sky with its soft light
Flame of Life
Mixing with the rain
To create the Rainbow Necklace
And to walk between the worlds
Ishtar of the Sea
To the thousand river daughters
Noisy or secret
O Mystery of the deep waters
of the original Matrix
Rich roots, green tops
Tree of Life, shadows and lights
Who descends under Earth
Under the roots, under the stones
Crossing the Seven Gates of Hell
Dying and reborn
Lover of all, wife of no
Freedom of love for everyone
Beauty that heals hearts
Prostitute to the sacred gift
In this place be venerated
In this place be thanked
I beg you, Ishtar
With all the beating of my heart