So, do I need to decide between being a Qadishti Priestess and a Leather Woman?
As a Qadishti Priestess my path would lead me to helping others as I already do. As a Leather Woman my path would lead me to helping others as I already do.
If I focus on being a Qadishti Priestess, I’ll probably take a few more sacred sexuality classes if I can find some that sound interesting and is something new for me. I’ll also schedule and teach POTQ2 and hold more Energy and Sacred Sexuality workshops. I might even look into being a Death Doula. Most of this will be done in the Leather/Kink world. Even the stuff at the Space, like the rituals I do, will take on a more sexual overtone.
If I focus on being a Leather Woman, I’ll probably join a Leather Women’s group that I’ve been looking at, and maybe attend WILL and maybe run for a title or 2 on my own. I’d put out a few more bids for presenting and being a judge.
Wow. As I type these things out….I can see/feel where my passion is. Both. But, I see it as ‘being’ Qadishti and living as a Leather Woman. I can be a Leather Woman with a Spiritual path of a Qadishti Priestess. I mean, how is it any different than being a Christian Leather Woman, or a Jewish Leather Woman. Oh…..there is a slight difference. Because it would be like being a Jewish Rabbi Leather Woman or Christian Clergy Leather Woman.
It can be done. But, the training and the next steps and the focus. Qadishti Priestess. It’s time to embrace it again and move forward. And I can do it as a Leather Woman.
It is funny, because all the Oracle and Tarot cards that I’ve been drawing lately have been telling me that I have the answer inside…that I already know the answer. The problem is, I keep thinking I’ve learned everything I need to know to be a Qadishtu. But it’s not true. There are many things I can learn and many things that I can do to help others live their lives as sexual beings.
So, * rubbing hands together * ….what’s next?
I’m betting it’s scheduling POTQ2 so that others can learn skills to be the Qadishtu’s and Qadeshes that speak to their hearts.
(side note….i think i’ve been resisting it because i really thought this would be something i’d be doing with my husband…he’s on a different path, though. So, i’ve been wanting to find someone else to walk this path with or to at least study with …and the Universe just hasn’t provided it. So I held off. But, I need to embrace the idea that this is a path I can walk alone.)
(side note #2…there are a couple of people using the title ‘Qadishti’ that I don’t want associated with me. I don’t want people to come across them and think I’m like them. But, i”m sure a lot of clergy feel that way about some clergy members of their chosen spiritual path. I will go out there and continue to be the ethical person that I am. )
So….I’ve signed up for this Tantra course, so that I can teach tantra.
Funny thing is, I’ve been teaching sacred sexuality/tantra for many years.
I was all gung-ho about this Tantra course, paid for it, and since being out of work you’d think I would have concentrated on it. But, I haven’t. Granted, I’ve been busy with BTL and Space stuff….and binge watching Super Natural. I need to get this course completed so that I can start scheduling Tantra courses.
Is this my new path? I’m not sure. I’d love for it to be. Have dreamt of it. But, I’m betting I’ll have to wait til after retirement before I can be a full-time teacher of Tantra and Reiki.
I wonder if I could take the course over a couple of days? I won’t know til I actually open it up and look at it.
I’d like to bring sacred sexuality to many, many people. I believe that can help the tone of the world.
I am Qadishtu….a practitioner of sacred sexuality. I believe in the healing power of sex and that we wouldn’t have been given these enjoyable parts of our anatomy if we weren’t supposed to have fun with them.
With that said, I’m getting older. And even though my sex drive is soaring through the roof, my body doesn’t look like that of a young woman anymore. I have a bad back and a knee that will act up for no reason out of the blue. Since my surgery to remove the extra skin around my middle, I can’t find sexy clothes to wear. My corsets don’t fit anymore and I have a scar all the way around me.
Because of this, I don’t feel so sexy anymore. So, how do I put myself out there when I’m not feeling sexy (most days anyway)?
I want to have healing sex. I want to have passionate sex. I want to have sex that connects me with the Divine. I want to have sex that expands my self and my world. I want sex that blows my mind. Dammit. I want sex!
I actually feel like I felt sexier when I was heavier but younger. I know that’s not true. I had issues back then as well.
Hell, except for a couple of years as a teen, I didn’t even enjoy sex until I was 32. Now, I need to make up for lost time!
In all honesty, sex is fun but it is also very healing for me. It is part of my personal healing path. This aging thing sucks.
I will figure out how to turn this feeling around and become an empowered older Qadishtu/woman. I just need to figure out how. If I figure it out, I’ll share.
Last Saturday, I was able to put my skill as a Qadishtu to work.
I was at a kink party and someone I’ve worked with before needed a session of sacred touch. She’s been going through a rough patch and really needed some help. I’m glad we were able to make it work out.
Since I wasn’t staying at the host hotel, it makes it harder to get everything in at an event, that i want to do. So, I only had the daytime available. We tried the day dungeon, but it was packed. We thought about driving to their hotel and using their bed, but I was resisting leaving the hotel. Her husband thought about going out in the hotel courtyard. Luckily it’s a hotel takeover event, so with the hotel wrapped around a courtyard, nudity is allowed outside.
So, we took her aftercare blanket and found an empty spot outside. She stripped down to her underwear and so did I. Then, her husband laid out her blanket for us. I had her breathe and then settle down on the blanket on the grass. I used my Reiki symbols to create a safe space for us and to get the energy flowing. It felt amazing to be doing this outside in the sun and the breeze.
I was able to balance her chakras, channel some Reiki and give sacred touch.
It was pretty spectacular.
So, after writing yesterday’s blog and sleeping on it and then while finishing listening to a book this morning ‘American Gods’ and starting to listen to a Wiccan book….I figured out why it is that I’m wanting to move forward on my path of sacred sexuality – it’s because it’s through sacred sexuality is how I connect with the Divine.
The Divine is within as well as without. It’s easier to connect with the Divine that is outside of us. We can see it in the cycle of birth and death. We can see it in miracles. We can see it in things of beauty that we can’t explain, in the birth of a child, in the gaze of creatures, in the growth of plants. But, we also have Divine within us and the easiest way for me to tap into that is through sexual energy.
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful energies to work with. I want to further my spirtual path and growth through using sexual energy. The depth of connection that is involved; the vulnerability; the compassion; the empowerment….all of that is part of my spiritual path. I need to embrace it, even if that means I travel the path alone.