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Aging as a Qadishtu

I am Qadishtu….a practitioner of sacred sexuality. I believe in the healing power of sex and that we wouldn’t have been given these enjoyable parts of our anatomy if we weren’t supposed to have fun with them.

With that said, I’m getting older. And even though my sex drive is soaring through the roof, my body doesn’t look like that of a young woman anymore. I have a bad back and a knee that will act up for no reason out of the blue. Since my surgery to remove the extra skin around my middle, I can’t find sexy clothes to wear. My corsets don’t fit anymore and I have a scar all the way around me.

Because of this, I don’t feel so sexy anymore. So, how do I put myself out there when I’m not feeling sexy (most days anyway)?

I want to have healing sex. I want to have passionate sex. I want to have sex that connects me with the Divine. I want to have sex that expands my self and my world. I want sex that blows my mind. Dammit. I want sex!

I actually feel like I felt sexier when I was heavier but younger. I know that’s not true. I had issues back then as well.

Hell, except for a couple of years as a teen, I didn’t even enjoy sex until I was 32. Now, I need to make up for lost time!

In all honesty, sex is fun but it is also very healing for me. It is part of my personal healing path. This aging thing sucks.

I will figure out how to turn this feeling around and become an empowered older Qadishtu/woman. I just need to figure out how. If I figure it out, I’ll share.

Bad Ass Grandma

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I think my new motto is going to be ‘Bad Ass Grandma’ aka ‘B.A.G.’

I found it on a website that was recommended to me from another lady biker for women’s accessories. They have t-shirts and patches and other things that say ‘OLD B.A.G.’ I’m going to drop the old part and just ‘Bad Ass Grandma’.

Why? Cause I think I’m Bad Ass and I’m a Grandma J

This morning I did some interval run/walking for 3 miles, training for a 5k I’m running on Saturday, after flying to the Eastern Shore of Maryland. The race is in Rehobeth Beach, DE. My sisters will be picking me up from the airport and my brother-in-law will be running with me. Then, after the run, I jumped on my motorcycle and rode to work.

There is actually a lot of bad ass things that I do…..clergy work, leading groups, multiple relationships, sex positive life…..

I think I’m going to put this patch on my vest to remind me that I’m a tough gal, so that when people say I’m ‘intimidating’ or ‘too visible’ or don’t seem to believe that I’m a leader……I’ll just look at my patch and dust it off.